I have found it to be true that the older I've become the better my life has become.

I have lived long enough. My way of life is to fall into the sere, the yellow leaf, and that which should accompany old age, as honor, love, obedience, troops of friends I must not look to have.

I have never known a person to live to be one hundred and be remarkable for anything else.

I hope I never get so old I get religious.

I married an archaeologist because the older I grow, the more he appreciates me.

I refuse to admit that I am more than 52, even if that makes my children illegitimate.

I shall soon be six-and-twenty. Is there anything in the future that can possibly console us for not being always twenty-five?

I think in twenty years I'll be looked at like Bob Hope. Doing those president jokes and golf shit. It scares me.

I think middle-age is the best time, if we can escape the fatty degeneration of the conscience which often sets in at about fifty.

I think when the full horror of being fifty hits you, you should stay home and have a good cry.

I venerate old age; and I love not the man who can look without emotion upon the sunset of life, when the dusk of evening begins to gather over the watery eye, and the shadows of twilight grow broader and deeper upon the understanding.

I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up.

I wasted time, and now time doth waste me.

I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am.

I will never give in to old age until I become old. And I'm not old yet!

I'd like to grow very old as slowly as possible.

I'm 65 and I guess that puts me in with the geriatrics. But if there were fifteen months in every year, I'd only be 48. That's the trouble with us. We number everything. Take women, for example. I think they deserve to have more than twelve years between the ages of 28 and 40.

I'm aiming by the time I'm fifty to stop being an adolescent.

I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.

I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often, but I'm well preserved.

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